so this is what i say when they ask me what my greatest fear is

God forbid you'll never understand how much I love you. Here I am, looking at you, recounting your gestures of genuine love-- respect. I'm thinking, what do I have to do to stop this? This is the beginning, this is where I am about to lose you. My mind succumbs into a panic, crunching up strategies, holding back tears-- "no, this can't be happening how do I-- what do I---" and amidst all that chaos that is my thoughts, you're just peacefully asleep. When you wake up, all you'll care about will be your games and food. God forbid you'll never understand how much I would sacrifice to shelter you, your innocence and your unbrazen confidence that the world is yours. My dearest boy, forgive me for thinking it is your responsibility to show me that you love me. You don't have to. All I have to do is to love you.